i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
