Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
