I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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