I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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