morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
