eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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