Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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