nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Randomize
