i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
