Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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