i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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