Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
