y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize