Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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