i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
