Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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