My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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