I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize