Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
