Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
