And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
