I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
