I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
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