I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
