She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
