Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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