You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
