hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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