uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
