i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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