there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
