Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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