it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We left an ass print on the piano.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
