and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
