lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
