Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
