I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just blew my weed a kiss
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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