after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
