And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
