I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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