i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize