It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The beer is more important than you right now.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
