we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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