Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
