You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize