if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
