wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
