His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Randomize
