Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
