My room smells like vodka and shame
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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