Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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