dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm always down for nudity.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
