Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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