I puked a lego.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I need moral support for this bender
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize