I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
