So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
