Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
