who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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