I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
