i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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