Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
