Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
