North Korea, Best Korea!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
