I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
