i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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