Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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