woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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