Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
try to milk me bitch
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
