My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
