It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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