You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize