Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
