I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
