whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
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