Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
