ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
